The topic of living together before marriage, often referred to as cohabitation, is one that has become increasingly common in modern society. Many people, even within the Christian faith, struggle with understanding whether or not this lifestyle aligns with biblical principles. The Bible provides clear guidance on how we are to live in relationship to God, our bodies, and each other. However, the concept of cohabitation—living together as a couple without marriage—can be confusing for many, especially given the complexities of modern culture and differing interpretations of Scripture.
The purpose of this article is to explore what the Bible says about living together before marriage, providing a deeper understanding of the spiritual, moral, and relational implications of such a decision. We will look at 20 Bible verses that speak to the nature of relationships, the sanctity of marriage, and the importance of purity in our interactions with others.
Living together before marriage involves not only physical intimacy but also emotional and spiritual connections. As Christians, our relationships should reflect God’s design for love, marriage, and holiness. This article will help you discern what the Bible says about relationships, honor, and purity, and why marriage is the ideal and divinely ordained structure for intimate partnership.
1. Genesis 2:24
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
This foundational verse establishes God’s design for marriage. The Bible begins with the union of a man and a woman, where they leave their previous familial ties to become one in marriage. Cohabiting before marriage goes against this biblical model of marital unity.
2. Hebrews 13:4
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Here, the writer of Hebrews stresses the importance of honoring marriage and keeping the marriage bed pure. Living together before marriage can defile the sanctity of this union, as it involves intimacy outside the covenant of marriage.
3. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
These verses highlight the importance of sexual purity. Cohabitation often involves sexual activity outside of marriage, which the Bible considers immoral. Our bodies belong to God and should be treated as temples, honoring Him in all we do, including our relationships.
4. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”
Paul writes that God’s will is for us to live in purity, avoiding sexual immorality. The act of living together before marriage often involves sexual temptation and immorality, which runs contrary to God’s calling for holiness.
5. Ephesians 5:3
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
This verse reinforces the call for Christians to live a life of purity. Cohabitation can lead to situations where sexual immorality occurs, and the Bible commands us to avoid even a hint of impurity.
6. 1 Corinthians 7:2
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.”
Paul’s advice here indicates that sexual relations should only take place within the context of marriage. Cohabiting before marriage often results in sexual relations outside of this biblical boundary.
7. Matthew 19:4-6
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Jesus reaffirms the Genesis account of marriage, where a man and woman are united in marriage to become one. This passage upholds the idea that living together before marriage is not part of God’s plan for relationships.
8. Romans 13:13-14
“Let us walk with decency, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual impurity and promiscuity, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
This passage emphasizes the importance of avoiding sexual immorality and living in a way that is pleasing to God. Cohabiting before marriage often leads to situations where these desires are not controlled, contrary to what Scripture teaches.
9. Colossians 3:5
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.”
Paul urges believers to put away all forms of sexual immorality, including cohabitation and premarital sex. This is part of the process of putting to death our sinful desires and living in accordance with God’s will.
10. Proverbs 5:18-19
“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”
While these verses speak about the beauty of the marriage relationship, they also imply that intimacy and joy should be found within the confines of marriage, not outside it.
11. 1 Peter 2:11
“Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”
This verse encourages Christians to abstain from sinful desires that can war against our spiritual well-being. Cohabitation before marriage can often lead to the indulgence of sinful desires, which hinder our walk with God.
12. 2 Timothy 2:22
“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
Paul advises Timothy to flee from youthful lusts and to pursue righteousness. Cohabiting before marriage typically involves giving in to youthful desires rather than pursuing a pure and righteous relationship.
13. Matthew 5:28
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
This passage speaks to the internal nature of sin. Living together before marriage often involves temptation and lust, which can lead to further moral and spiritual downfall.
14. 1 Corinthians 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
Paul reminds us that temptation is inevitable, but God provides the strength and the escape we need. For those in a relationship, God calls us to avoid situations that invite temptation, such as living together before marriage.
15. 2 Corinthians 6:17
“Therefore, come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”
This verse speaks to the importance of holiness and separation from sin. Cohabiting before marriage is considered an unholy union by biblical standards, and believers are urged to separate from such relationships.
16. Romans 12:1-2
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Paul encourages believers to offer their bodies to God as holy and pleasing sacrifices. Living together before marriage is often a pattern of the world, and Christians are called to live differently, according to God’s standards.
17. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9
“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Paul acknowledges that celibacy is ideal but understands that it’s not always possible. Instead of living together in sin, marriage provides a godly context for sexual intimacy and passion.
18. Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This verse describes the sacrificial love that should characterize marriage. Living together outside of marriage prevents this sacred and selfless love from flourishing as it is intended to in the covenant of marriage.
19. Matthew 19:9
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
While this verse addresses divorce, it underscores the sanctity of marriage and the importance of sexual purity. Cohabiting before marriage can lead to situations that undermine this biblical ideal.
20. 1 Timothy 5:22
“Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.”
This verse speaks to maintaining personal purity and avoiding the sinful actions of others. Cohabitation before marriage can encourage sinful behavior, which is why purity is so important in relationships.
Conclusion
The Bible provides clear guidance on the subject of cohabitation before marriage, emphasizing the importance of sexual purity, holiness, and honoring God’s design for marriage. While the world may offer different perspectives on relationships, the Christian worldview calls believers to a higher standard, one that aligns with God’s Word. The 20 Bible verses shared in this article provide a comprehensive look at what Scripture says about living together before marriage.
As Christians, we are called to live according to God’s will and to honor Him in all aspects of our lives, including our relationships. By following biblical principles, we protect ourselves from the negative spiritual and emotional consequences of cohabiting before marriage, and we honor God’s design for love, commitment, and family. Let us choose to live in purity, waiting for the right time and circumstances to enter into the covenant of marriage, as God intended.
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