Conflict in marriage is a common part of human relationships. Even in the closest and most loving unions, disagreements arise. The Bible, however, offers clear guidance on how husbands and wives should deal with these struggles, emphasizing communication, respect, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Here are 90 Bible verses that provide wisdom for couples dealing with conflict and strife in their marriage.
Bible Verses About Husband and Wife Fighting
1. Ephesians 4:26
“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
This verse teaches that while anger is a natural emotion, it should not lead to sin. Couples are encouraged to resolve conflicts before the day ends, ensuring that bitterness does not take root.
2. Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
When conflict arises, the way we respond is key. Speaking gently can calm an angry situation, while harsh words will only escalate the argument.
3. James 1:19-20
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
This verse emphasizes the importance of listening before reacting. It encourages patience and self-control, reminding us that anger does not lead to a righteous outcome.
4. Colossians 3:19
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Husbands are called to love their wives tenderly, even when they are upset or in conflict. Harshness will only further damage the relationship and deepen misunderstandings.
5. 1 Peter 3:7
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
This passage instructs husbands to treat their wives with consideration and respect, as doing so is essential for a harmonious and effective relationship with God.
6. Proverbs 31:26
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”
A wife is encouraged to speak with wisdom, especially in moments of conflict. This promotes understanding and thoughtful communication, which are crucial for resolving disagreements.
7. Matthew 7:3-5
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Before pointing fingers at your spouse, it’s essential to first look inward. Self-reflection and humility are necessary when resolving conflicts in marriage.
8. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Marriage is a partnership where both spouses should support and uplift one another. In times of disagreement, working together to resolve the issue strengthens the bond.
9. Proverbs 18:19
“A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.”
When conflict is unresolved, it can harden hearts and make reconciliation more difficult. This verse warns that unresolved disputes can lead to emotional walls that are hard to break down.
10. Romans 12:18
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
This verse reminds us that, while we cannot control others’ actions, we are responsible for doing our part in promoting peace, especially in our marriages.
11. Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
During times of conflict, prayer is a powerful tool. Bringing your anxieties and conflicts to God invites His peace into your marriage.
12. Proverbs 14:29
“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
Patience is a key virtue in resolving conflict. Those who are slow to anger show understanding, while those who react hastily make poor decisions.
13. Ephesians 5:33
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Mutual love and respect are the foundations of a strong marriage. Even in times of disagreement, these principles should guide every interaction.
14. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Love is the ultimate tool for overcoming conflict. This passage defines the qualities of love that should be evident in our marriages, even during times of tension.
15. Proverbs 19:11
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
Wisdom leads to patience, and sometimes, the best course of action during an argument is to overlook minor offenses for the sake of peace.
16. Galatians 6:1
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
Conflict often involves sin. In such cases, the goal should be restoration, not condemnation, with gentleness and humility guiding the process.
17. Proverbs 27:5
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”
Addressing issues directly, rather than letting them fester, leads to healthier relationships. Honest communication is essential for resolving conflicts in marriage.
18. Matthew 5:23-24
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Reconciliation with your spouse should take precedence over any religious rituals or duties. God values peace in relationships over ritualistic offerings.
19. Hebrews 12:14
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”
This verse reminds us that peace should be pursued in every relationship, including marriage. Striving for peace reflects our commitment to holiness and godliness.
20. Romans 14:19
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”
Striving for peace and mutual growth is essential in any disagreement. This approach nurtures the health and strength of the marriage.
21. Matthew 18:15
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”
This verse emphasizes the importance of private, one-on-one reconciliation before any public confrontation or airing of grievances. This protects the dignity of both parties involved.
22. Romans 8:6
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”
When conflicts arise, responding according to the flesh—through pride or selfishness—leads to destruction. But when the Spirit leads, there is peace and life.
23. 1 Corinthians 7:5
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
This verse speaks to marital intimacy, but it also highlights the importance of mutual respect and the danger of neglecting each other’s needs.
24. Titus 2:4-5
“Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
This passage encourages wives to be loving, respectful, and self-controlled in all areas of their marriage, including during times of conflict.
25. Psalm 37:8
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.”
Anger and wrath can lead to destruction, both in the relationship and within one’s spirit. Avoiding these emotions promotes peace and understanding.
26. Proverbs 15:18
“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
Patience is a virtue that helps defuse conflict. Those who are quick to anger will only exacerbate the situation, while the patient person promotes peace.
27. Proverbs 20:3
“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
Avoiding unnecessary arguments is a mark of wisdom. Wise couples know when to step back and choose peace over petty disputes.
28. Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
God offers reconciliation and forgiveness. Similarly, couples should approach conflict with a heart of reconciliation and a willingness to forgive.
29. Proverbs 3:3-4
“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.”
Love and faithfulness are the keys to a lasting marriage. These qualities should guide couples through every challenge and conflict.
30. Hebrews 10:24
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”
In times of disagreement, couples should strive to encourage each other to live out the values of love and goodness, not tear each other down.
31. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Encouragement and positive reinforcement are vital for overcoming relational struggles. Building each other up creates a foundation for reconciliation.
32. 2 Corinthians 5:18
“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
As God has reconciled us to Himself, we are called to reconcile with one another, especially in marriage.
33. Matthew 18:21-22
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'”
Forgiveness is central to a healthy marriage. No matter how often the other person hurts us, we are called to forgive them without limit.
34. Proverbs 12:1
“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.”
Correction and growth are part of any healthy relationship. The Bible encourages accepting correction as a means of becoming wiser and more mature.
35. 1 John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Acknowledging our mistakes and asking for forgiveness brings healing, whether between a husband and wife or between us and God.
36. Psalm 34:14
“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”
When conflict arises, we are instructed to actively pursue peace, moving away from negativity and toward reconciliation.
37. Proverbs 16:24
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
When speaking to one another during conflict, choose words that are kind, gentle, and healing. Gracious words can turn tension into tranquility.
38. John 14:27
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Christ offers peace beyond understanding. In conflict, remember that God’s peace can calm the storm within.
39. Romans 15:5
“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had.”
In moments of marital conflict, we should strive to have the same mindset of humility and love that Christ had toward us.
40. 1 John 4:7-8
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Love is a foundational aspect of a strong marriage. In all things, love should guide actions, even during disagreements.
41. Romans 12:10
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
Devotion and honor are at the core of a healthy marriage. Even in times of conflict, these values should guide the couple’s response to one another.
42. Proverbs 27:17
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Disagreements, when handled correctly, can strengthen a relationship. Constructive conflict can help both spouses grow and become better partners.
43. Matthew 5:9
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
Peacemakers play a vital role in restoring peace to relationships. Strive to be a peacemaker in your marriage, even when tensions are high.
44. Proverbs 10:12
“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”
Love covers the imperfections in others, providing a pathway to forgiveness and healing in marriage.
45. Micah 6:8
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
This verse encapsulates how we are to approach conflict: justly, mercifully, and humbly, as we walk in relationship with God.
46. Matthew 7:3-5
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Before pointing out the faults of your spouse, examine your own actions and attitudes. Healthy conflict resolution requires humility and self-awareness.
47. Romans 12:17-19
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
In conflict, resist the urge for vengeance. Trust God to handle justice and choose peace, even if the other party is in the wrong.
48. Ephesians 4:2-3
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
Humility, patience, and gentleness are necessary traits to preserve peace in marriage. Pursue unity and peace even when disagreements arise.
49. Galatians 6:1
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
When dealing with marital conflict, approach the situation with gentleness, seeking restoration rather than punishment. Ensure your own heart is in the right place before offering correction.
50. Colossians 3:12-14
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
These virtues—compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness—are essential in navigating conflict in marriage. Love is the thread that binds all of these qualities together.
51. Proverbs 18:13
“To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.”
Listening is critical before responding in conflict. Rushing to speak without understanding your spouse’s perspective can escalate the situation unnecessarily.
52. Proverbs 17:9
“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
Forgiveness involves letting go of past offenses. Don’t bring up old conflicts or mistakes; they only serve to drive a wedge between you and your spouse.
53. Psalm 51:10
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
When conflict arises, seek purity of heart and a spirit that desires to restore peace rather than hold onto anger. Reconciliation begins with a heart surrendered to God.
54. James 1:19-20
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Patience is key in resolving marital conflict. Be quick to listen and slow to respond. Anger can cloud judgment, but calmness leads to better resolution.
55. Romans 14:19
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”
The goal in conflict should always be peace and mutual building up. Strive for a solution that strengthens the relationship rather than tears it down.
56. Psalm 85:10
“Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.”
A strong relationship is built on a foundation of love, faithfulness, righteousness, and peace. Seek to integrate these values into every aspect of your marriage.
57. Luke 6:31
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
In times of conflict, remember the Golden Rule. Treat your spouse with the same kindness and respect that you would desire from them.
58. 1 Peter 3:9
“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
When conflict escalates, return kindness for harshness. This leads to healing and growth, both individually and as a couple.
59. Matthew 18:15
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”
Addressing conflict one-on-one is the best way to ensure understanding. Avoid bringing in third parties unnecessarily, and work through the issue directly with your spouse.
60. 2 Corinthians 12:9
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
In times of marital conflict, acknowledge your weaknesses and depend on God’s grace. Through our weaknesses, His strength can be made evident.
61. 1 Peter 4:8
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Love should be the driving force in all your interactions. When love prevails, many conflicts can be healed or avoided altogether.
62. 1 Corinthians 16:14
“Do everything in love.”
All actions, even in conflict, should be guided by love. A love that is patient, kind, and seeks the best for the other person.
63. Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
In times of conflict, pray for peace and wisdom. God promises that His peace will guard your heart and mind, helping you navigate the situation calmly and wisely.
64. Isaiah 54:10
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
God’s love is constant and unshakable, a model for the love we should offer our spouse during difficult times. His covenant of peace offers assurance that reconciliation is possible.
65. Titus 3:2
“To slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”
The way we speak to our spouse, especially in times of conflict, should be characterized by peace, consideration, and gentleness. This promotes understanding and healing.
66. Hebrews 12:14
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”
Striving for peace in marriage reflects holiness. Pursuing peace with your spouse demonstrates God’s character and brings His presence into your relationship.
67. Proverbs 19:11
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
Wisdom leads to patience, and patience leads to peace. Overlook minor offenses for the sake of peace and unity in your marriage.
68. John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Christ assures us that while conflict is inevitable, He has overcome all things. Through Him, we can experience peace in any situation.
69. Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
In marital conflict, selflessness and humility are essential. Put your spouse’s needs and concerns above your own to resolve disputes peacefully.
70. Ephesians 4:26
“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
It’s important to resolve conflicts promptly. Allowing anger to linger can cause division. Reconcile before the day ends, so that bitterness doesn’t take root in your heart or relationship.
71. Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
The way we respond during arguments plays a pivotal role in determining the outcome. A gentle and kind response can de-escalate a situation, whereas harsh words can exacerbate it.
72. Colossians 3:8-10
“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
As Christians, we are called to live in a way that honors God. In marriage, this includes letting go of sinful behaviors like anger, malice, and lying. Replace these with kindness, honesty, and love.
73. Proverbs 20:3
“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
Striving for peace and avoiding unnecessary conflict brings honor to a marriage. Quarreling without reason only brings division and dishonor.
74. 1 Corinthians 7:5
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Sexual intimacy and emotional connection are essential for a healthy marriage. During times of conflict, ensuring that your physical relationship remains intact can prevent further strife and keep the bond strong.
75. James 3:16-18
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”
Conflicts are often rooted in selfishness or envy. However, godly wisdom encourages peace and mercy. A peacemaker fosters peace and reaps righteousness in return.
76. 1 John 4:7-8
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Love should be the foundation of all interactions. If love guides your actions in marriage, it will provide the strength needed to overcome conflicts and restore peace.
77. Romans 12:10
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
Honor your spouse by prioritizing their needs over your own. This commitment helps create a peaceful and loving environment, even during moments of conflict.
78. Proverbs 14:29
“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
Patience in marriage is key to resolving conflicts. When we rush to anger, we often act foolishly. But patience leads to understanding and healing.
79. Proverbs 22:24-25
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”
Choosing to avoid harsh interactions and staying away from angered behavior can help prevent escalating conflicts in your marriage. Ensure that your relationship fosters peace rather than bringing out the worst in each other.
80. Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
In difficult times, including marital conflict, remember that God is with you, offering His strength and help. Trust in His presence to guide you through.
81. Matthew 5:23-24
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Reconciliation should take priority over everything else. Before offering your prayers or gifts to God, seek peace with your spouse and resolve conflicts.
82. 2 Corinthians 13:11
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”
God calls us to pursue full restoration and peace in all relationships, including marriage. This effort leads to God’s presence, peace, and blessing.
83. 2 Timothy 2:23-24
“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”
Avoid getting caught up in petty arguments. Instead, cultivate an attitude of kindness, patience, and a willingness to teach and learn from each other in marriage.
84. Colossians 3:15
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
The peace of Christ should govern your hearts. This peace will guide you through marital disputes, helping you prioritize love and unity over division.
85. Psalm 34:14
“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”
Always seek peace and actively work toward it. In marriage, that means setting aside pride and striving to work through conflicts in a way that honors God and strengthens the relationship.
86. Proverbs 15:18
“The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.”
Avoid bitterness, laziness, or stubbornness in conflict. Choose to pursue righteousness and humility, which will clear the way for peace.
87. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Love is the foundation of a strong marriage. Let this definition of love guide your actions and responses during moments of conflict.
88. Matthew 18:21-22
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'”
Forgiveness is crucial to restoring peace in marriage. Jesus teaches that forgiveness should have no limits, which means forgiving your spouse as often as needed.
89. Romans 12:14
“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”
When faced with opposition or harsh words, whether from your spouse or elsewhere, choose to bless rather than curse. Responding with blessings transforms conflict into an opportunity for peace.
90. Ephesians 5:33
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
This mutual love and respect will help couples resolve conflicts with grace and understanding, keeping the bond strong even in difficult moments.
Conclusion:
Navigating marital conflicts can be challenging, but by applying biblical principles of love, humility, patience, and forgiveness, couples can overcome difficulties and strengthen their relationship. Marriage, as designed by God, is built on love, mutual respect, and a commitment to serving each other. During moments of tension, turning to scripture offers guidance and encouragement for reconciling and restoring peace. Let God’s Word serve as a foundation for your marriage, ensuring that conflict resolution becomes an opportunity for growth, rather than division.
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